Keep Going

Keep Going

Hey, everyone!! It’s been a while since we last spoke, literally and figuratively. Since the last couple of posts, a lot has been going on that has affected all of us. Some of it good, some of it bad, but all of it needed (to some degree). My last post was on June 3rd–even though I can assume that people expected me to write about the Black Lives Matter movement, I just did not have the words, the emotional stability, or the energy. Quite frankly, I still don’t. Writing my last post was not an intentional decision to detract from conversations going on, but I did want to give spotlight to that virtual event in real time. A lot more time has passed and I feel I can at least write something more…coherent.
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26: What I’ve Learned Since Quarantine

26: What I’ve Learned Since Quarantine

I went back and forth about sharing my annual birthday post and the revelations I have come to over the last year of life, but eventually, I thought to myself, “Why not share?” After making the decision to take a hiatus last month, I felt stuck between a rock and a hard place. The year of 25 was, for the most part, an exceptional year for me; I traveled to England, France, Hawaii, and the Dominican Republic. I even explored Fredericksburg, Texas and returned to Washington D.C. after three years. Outside of traveling, I taught myself how to create and edit vlogs and ultimately settled on the vision I wanted for this blog and my YouTube channel. Even more importantly, I met the most perfect man that has only brought joy to my life since our first date. ❤ Overall, you could say the last year on this earth has been pretty amazing!! Until recently, that is.
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The Rollercoaster

Does anyone feel like they are currently on a never-ending rollercoaster? Not in the fun way, but in the I-have-to-ride-this-ride-over-and-over-because-a-small-family-member-is-obsessed-with-it-but-I’m-getting-sick-and-I-want-off-immediately. Well, obviously, I wouldn’t classify what we are all going through at the moment as a result of someone being “obsessed” and “enjoying” the global pandemic because what we are doing is of the utmost importance and contributes to the safety of all of us. But what I mean is I feel like my mental state is in a constant up and down and loopty-loop of trying to remain positive and feeling absolutely helpless. It seems I go days feeling pretty good, feeling blessed and grateful that I and my family and friends are safe, feeling okay with the fact that I am working from home and that my day-to-day life has not shifted that much in the grand scheme. This past week, however, I have had an onslaught of bad days of feeling what I can only describe as melancholy: a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause.

Even when I was feeling productive and pushing through the overwhelming pull to get in bed, I was still doing those tasks just because I needed or wanted to. It was purely just to get them done because I knew I would feel worse later if I didn’t. It really took until this weekend to snap back into it and reflect on where I am mentally with the current climate. Two weeks ago, I posted a video about the ways I am protecting my mental space during this time. I continue to do these things, but I still feel at a standstill. Maybe it’s the fact that I am naturally a planned person, or that each day we are getting closer and closer to the trip I had to cancel that I’d been planning for nearly six months, but the ability to not be able to plan for the immediate future was weighing on me. I know, I know…this is everyone’s current reality, but I have to remind myself that that does not make my feelings any less valid.

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Virtual Vacations

I kept going back and forth about whether or not to write a full post dedicated to how we can work harder to support and uplift each other during this time of uncertainty. Ultimately, I ended up recording a video for that, but I also wanted to say something short and sweet here: the most overwhelming part of the crisis we are enduring is the uncertainty of every aspect of it. We are uncertain of how to fight or diminish this virus, we are uncertain of when there will be a viable vaccine, we are uncertain of how this will impact our economy in the long run, we are uncertain of the security of our jobs, and so on, and so on. But amidst all the negativity, people are certainly showing up for each other both physically and emotionally. Aim to be one of those people and do your part.

So, my original plan for this week’s blog post was to highlight events from this month considering it is Women’s History Month, but clearly, nothing has been going on. It does not mean that women are being less amazing because I know we are all still showing up and showing out during this time. But we have had to make do with transitioning to virtual life.

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