As of Labor Day Weekend, I’ve officially been living in El Paso for a full year. In some ways, I can’t believe a whole year has passed, but in other ways, I can. It has certainly been an interesting year and I haven’t spent this much time in the house since the 2020 lockdown, but this has been an incredible learning experience. It has given me a lot of time to gain clarity on things. For example, I learned that despite my natural introvertedness, I do have a desire to be around others and spend time with people regularly. More specifically, I learned that I thrive when I’m able to gain new experiences, get inspiration, and continue to open my mind, but only when access to these moments is not dependent on those around me. I need the freedom of choice. The biggest lesson I’m learning right now is not putting too much stock in the future. After the last (almost) three years, and this experience alone, there really is no point in planning so far ahead. I’m Type A, so I will always be a planner and I take immense joy in planning (especially travel and events), but as far as personal goals are concerned, I’m allowing myself some grace to just see where I land.
It’s been almost six months since I’ve posted here on my blog. There are a variety of reasons for that: lack of motivation, an unhealthy obsession I developed with analytics, and simply not having much to say or share. In 2019, I set out to dedicate this blog to travel-related content and since 2020, the universe decided that wasn’t the path for me. I have traveled to more new places in 2021, however, a year off from traveling regularly and trying to sustain a weekly posting schedule with arguably irrelevant content took whatever steam I had left for blogging completely out. Most trips this year were solely dedicated to enjoying myself in real time and just being grateful to be able to travel safely. While I have absolutely no clue what the future of this blog looks like, I was inspired for the first time in almost six months to just write something.
Two months ago, I moved full time to El Paso, TX. If you follow this blog and my social media, you know that I have been living with my boyfriend since last year and a job opportunity relocated him to his old stomping grounds of El Paso/Ciudad Juárez. Since my job was remote at the time (and will continue to be permanently remote), I took this as a sign to take a leap of faith and challenge myself in a new way. Since 2018, I have been begging for the universe to give me some real, tangible change in my life. While this was always centered around the confusion and uncertainty around my career, the proposition of moving to El Paso was a change to consider as well. At only 27 with no major financial issues, not having to be a caretaker for anyone, and no real roots in one place (e.g. a house, a business, etc.), I saw this as an opportunity to accomplish the following:
So, life the last couple of months has been…a lot, to say the least. So much change has been happening in my life–a lot of it has been great while other parts have been equally very bad. In one of my last posts, I wrote about wanting to get my life back and living for me, however, I have done the complete opposite of that. I haven’t been living for other people, but self-care and self-love plummeted to the bottom of the totem pole. I stopped working out, maintaining a skincare regimen, keeping up with my book club, and let anxiety take over my life. I wasn’t sleeping well, I was getting stomach cramps from stress, I was drinking more, and every inconvenience would reduce me to tears. I needed help. It really wouldn’t be until a little over a week ago where I decided I now feel in a position to get back to my goals, no matter what that looks like or how long it takes.