Yesterday, I turned 24! While that may not generally be a significant age/milestone, it has turned out to be for me and here is why.
Oftentimes, I find myself worrying about my youth. To others, 24 is not old and I by no means see it as old either, but I am constantly asking myself, “Where did the time go?” I graduated from high school six years ago and when I reflect on college just three years ago, I immediately think of all the time I spent studying, napping, and doing laundry. But what about the fun times? I would never downplay the priceless memories of living with seven other girls, joining my dance team, going abroad, and meeting people who will be my friends for the rest of my life; however, when all of those moments were taking place, I can’t help but feel like I wasn’t totally present. I was always one foot in, one foot out, constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop or prematurely mourning a good time because I didn’t want it to end. Of course we all want to hold on to great moments and if we could, we’d live them over and over, but I’m just talking about not allowing myself to be free and leave my worries behind.
I feel like I lost a lot of my time during my late teens and early 20’s to fear, inhibition, and stress. If I had to explain why, you would be reading my autobiography, but I hate that I allowed that to happen. What I want from turning 24–and moving forward in the rest of my life–is to truly start letting go. I think I have actually written previously on this blog about “letting go,” but I am ready for the weight that I put on myself to be lifted off my shoulders. I spend so much time in my head and focus greatly on self-preservation and trying to build a better character. While there are great things about that, I am also hurting myself by not being physically present in everyday life. I need to just live my life in the way that makes me happiest. That includes reminding myself that nothing (and no one) is perfect and that I should not benchmark any part of my life against another person. It is time to stop punishing myself for not being someone else, and to start accepting myself for who I am.
For me, the year of 24 is more than just being more outgoing and saying “yes” to things more often–it is about quieting that negative, doubting voice. It is about breaking down my own barriers and throwing away the hypothetical guide to life. What I
expect, no, set for this year and beyond is more laughter, more openness to experience and others, and finally living with eyes and heart wide open. 24 is The Year of Letting Go.
As if my blog in the last year hasn’t already been flooded with apology posts discussing why I’m not posting, I’m here to give you another one. I know, they are really annoying, but I feel compelled to write something nonetheless.
It is pretty simple why I have been on a ‘fly-atus’ (I’m making up words now, thanks to my ANTM-binge): I have just been preoccupied with other aspects of my life at the moment. I have also been saving for bigger, better trips in the near future so part of that obviously means not doing much. I have missed traveling and I hate how inconsistent it has been in terms of updating this website and my social media, but taking March off was completely necessary.
April is hopefully going to get the ball rolling for the rest of spring. As stated in my first post this year, I have some stuff planned for my blog that will hopefully happen sooner than later. If you have noticed, I added a page to my navigation bar called, “Contact.” Whether you are new or a frequent visitor, I opened this tab to answer any questions anyone may have about specific cities I have posted about or just travel in general. Please don’t be afraid to reach out!! 🙂
In the mean time, please enjoy the foolishness that took place when I went to L.A. last month. Talk to y’all soon!!
Am I the only one who is extremely happy to be in the new year?
I know the first day of the new year is really like any other day, but I am one of those who believes it to symbolize a new beginning. If you have been keeping up with my blog at all, especially my posts that weren’t about traveling, you could tell I struggled mentally last year. I felt lost, disappointed, and even like a total failure for most of the year. Naturally, these feelings did not suddenly disappear as the new year got closer, but I’m finally at a point where I can recognize (and appreciate) that some great things came out of last year too:
- My parents kindly gifted me with a new car
- I got a job after eight months of being unemployed
- I camped for the first time
- I purchased a DSLR (Nikon D5600)
- I traveled to six new cities, one being international
- I went to two concerts and a musical (Ariana Grande, Jingle Ball 2017, Kinky Boots)
- I joined the newsletter committee on my team at work
- I strengthened my relationship with my mom exponentially
- I started video editing
- I stopped feeding into unhealthy and one-sided relationships
Those are just the main, compact-version of the highlights of 2017, and while they may be simple, they brought me pure, uninterrupted joy. Continue reading “Good Riddance, 2017”
I know this year has been so inconsistent in terms of my writing. I have had a lot of ups and downs and have mostly lost my inspiration, creativity, and zest for blogging. I will write more about that in an upcoming post, but I will still apologize to the few readers I have out there for being MIA. I have had two trips since my last travel post in Chicago, but I used both trips to disconnect and just be somewhere other than home while spending quality time with my closest friends. From my last post, you could probably feel that my mood has been out of whack for a little while now. Still, I am trying to be proactive about working on that by tackling my first and most important obstacle: time.
In my short 23 years of life, I haven’t fully grasped that feeling of ‘not having enough time.’ Sure, there have been many moments that I wished could last forever or wishing I had an extra day before an event, a test, etc., but I have always been someone who is on top of things. I never adopted procrastination in any of my education levels and never desired feeling that pressure–or rush, for some–of watching the time run out and seeing if I could accomplish the bare minimum. It is honestly something I am proud of. On the opposite end of the spectrum, however, I constantly have issues with time in terms of centering in on the past and the future. Continue reading “Reclaiming My Time”