Reclaiming My Time

Reclaiming My Time

I know this year has been so inconsistent in terms of my writing. I have had a lot of ups and downs and have mostly lost my inspiration, creativity, and zest for blogging. I will write more about that in an upcoming post, but I will still apologize to the few readers I have out there for being MIA. I have had two trips since my last travel post in Chicago, but I used both trips to disconnect and just be somewhere other than home while spending quality time with my closest friends. From my last post, you could probably feel that my mood has been out of whack for a little while now. Still, I am trying to be proactive about working on that by tackling my first and most important obstacle: time.
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In my short 23 years of life, I haven’t fully grasped that feeling of ‘not having enough time.’ Sure, there have been many moments that I wished could last forever or wishing I had an extra day before an event, a test, etc., but I have always been someone who is on top of things. I never adopted procrastination in any of my education levels and never desired feeling that pressure–or rush, for some–of watching the time run out and seeing if I could accomplish the bare minimum. It is honestly something I am proud of. On the opposite end of the spectrum, however, I constantly have issues with time in terms of centering in on the past and the future. Continue reading “Reclaiming My Time”

Mind Control

Mind Control

If you read my last post, I talked about how a component of grasping self-sufficiency was dealing with my personal emotional stability. When I reference emotional stability, I don’t mean that I’m walking around perfectly fine then all of a sudden I’m smashing things, but I’m acting, as most of us do, in a way that does not reflect how I really feel. I suppress things because it’s better to not deal with them, to save others, and/or to hope that they will eventually go away. With suppression, I’ve tried to tone this part of me all the way down so I am not perceived as crazy and it has only translated to me lacking display of emotions altogether and leaving me with people constantly questioning, “What’s wrong?” I robotically answer, “It’s not me, it’s just my face,” but I’ve recently started to center in on the “it’s not me” portion. When I found myself an emotional low point this semester (yes, it’s possible even when you’re having the time of your life), a friend of mine recommend I meditate. Continue reading “Mind Control”